I’m now living in what I believe is my third life. No, I don’t believe in reincarnation or mystical past lives or any of that. This is my third life, within this life. The way I see it, a lifetime is…
I’m now living in what I believe is my third life. No, I don’t believe in reincarnation or mystical past lives or any of that. This is my third life, within this life.
The way I see it, a lifetime is roughly 18 years long. On average, people get to live four or five of them. Six if you’re lucky.
Those first 18 years, I give to my mother. That was her lifetime of mine, since she made most of the decisions. I was just in training that whole time.
My second lifetime, from 18–35, were mine. And as long as I come out of it better than I did the first life, I can call it a win. The official score hasn’t quite been tallied yet, but I think I did alright.
Those years were spent on the things I thought were most important, coming out of my first life. Mostly falling in love and getting married. I was quick to it, marrying at 23, to the first girl who would have me. Then it was about pushing through it. Growing roots, building stability. Trying to be a good husband, giving her what she wanted. And eventually failing.
Divorcing at 30 was hard. Especially because I still felt the same way — that the most important thing in life is who you spend it with, and I was desperate to find someone to spend it with now. Dating after a 7 year marriage is hard.
I moved, and moved, and moved some more. 30–35 was about being really uncertain, but knowing that I needed to find out what I’d missed in my first two lives, because the third is coming.
And this February, I turned 36. The beginning of my third life, which I’ll get to live until I’m 54. So what are these years? How will I live them differently than I did the last 18? Probably just by doing all the things I forgot to do while I was young.
Travel? I had never left the country in my first or second life, so I got a passport just before my birthday. The day after I turned 36, I took a canoe across the Rio Grande, and then rode a donkey into a little village in Mexico. It wasn’t much of an international trip, but it started my new life off on the right foot. Seeing the world is my new goal. I’m already up to 3 trips this year, with another one to Thailand booked for November. It’s exhilarating.
Kids? Maybe. I completely understand why adults want to have them. You get to take that first life of yours and re-live it, but this time you get to make all the decisions. A do-over.
Living for my passions? Definitely. While I have a wonderful girlfriend now, our dynamic is very different from what I’ve been used to before — it’s much less codependent, and I’m encouraged to do what I enjoy, even if it’s not something she wants to come along for. I went to Mexico City on my own to explore, and I spend a few days a week with friends working on improv comedy.
Things are pretty good. I’m jazzed about this third life.
But I’m really looking forward to being 53, and seeing how I feel about my third life gone past. And especially making plans for my fourth.